Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Add another activity to the list of things that cause cancer: Sheep Fucking

It seems like you can't do anything these days without increasing your chances of getting cancer. Drink too much alcohol? Cancer. Not enough? Cancer. Exposure to sunlight? Cancer. No sunlight? Cancer. You just can't win. Well a recent study conducted by a team of urologists in Brazil has found yet another item to add to the list: bestiality (aka having sex with animals).

From nbcbayarea.com:

In a study of 492 men from rural Brazil, 35 percent reported having had sex with an animal at men who had sex some point in their lives. The report found those men were twice as likely to develop cancer of the penis.
Men reported having sex as frequently as daily with such animals as mares, cows, pigs and and chickens. Penile cancer accounts for up to 10 percent of cancers in men in Asia, Africa and South America, although it is rare in the U.S.

Wait, you mean to tell us that 35 percent of men in Brazil have had sex with animals? Is this really that common over there? And we hate to pick on Brazil here, for all we know everyone's doing it here too but we've just been out of the loop. But that number seems ridiculously high. For God sakes people get a girlfriend or hire a prostitute. If neither of those are options you always have your hand.

Here comes the science: the researchers hypothesize that long term sexual intercourse with animals such as cows and sheep could cause "micro-traumas" in the penile tissue. The mucus that animals produce in their naughty regions is different from the bodily fluids that we create, and there could be microorganisms spread from the animals to the human farking them.

You what's going to happen is these sheep fuckers are going to end up creating another disease and it'll be the new super-AIDS. For the sake of humanity guys just jack off to Animal Planet next time you get horny, you're risking your life and potentially everyone else around you.

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