Pepsi fails miserably at viral marketing attempt

Corporations are always trying to figure out to take advantage of the power of online viral buzz. They see regular folks posting random videos of themselves or others and watch the Youtube hits skyrocket into the millions with little effort. For some reason though, when a corporation tries it, it often falls flat on its face. The reason is this: for a video to become a viral hit, it usually has to be genuine and not staged, like the kid who was stoned after his visit to the dentist. They didn't tell the kid to act woozy and pretend like he just juiced up at the dentist office - he really was doped up and was not playing it up for the camera with dreams of becoming an internet sensation. That's why it was loved by many, and that's why it fails miserably when corporations try to get it on the act.

The latest attempt comes from Pepsi, in their efforts to get the word out about Pepsi Max. The premise is this: professional NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon disguises himself and plays the role of a guy who doesn't know much about cars but is looking for a new ride. He and the car salesman meet outside and they decide to test drive a new Chevy Camaro. At first Jeff Gordon acts like he barely knows how to drive - doing the "stop/start" routine that 15 year-olds do when they drive their parent's car for the first time. He then lets loose and takes off like a lunatic, racing around the dealership, making maneuvers only a skilled driver could pull off, almost giving the car salesman a heart attack. 


This would have been quite a hoot, except for the fact that it was completely staged. And not staged well. The car salesman, if he even was a real car salesman, was clearly in on it and the dialogue was obviously scripted. Somehow Pepsi had something to do with this - oh yeah, that's the hidden cam. The Pepsi can cam. But why do you need a hidden cam when everyone involved is getting paid to produce a viral ad?

What annoys us the most about these types of stunts is that they're actually good ideas most of the time. Why didn't they just do it for real? The genuineness of the salesman would have really shown through and it would have been extremely entertaining and viral. Instead, we get this fake, staged, watered down pathetic attempt at creating buzz which should be embarrassing for everyone involved. 

Evidently it did fool one poor soul though, Chris Chase from the USA Today Sports section. He wrote of the "success" of the marketing stunt and took it on face value as being real. After readers pointed out to him that the stunt was completely staged, he added:

I've been recently told I'm a wet blanket when it comes to evaluating the legitimacy of viral videos, so I'll keep my opinions about this one to myself. 

Either way, the salesman should have been suspicious when "Mike" put an unopened Pepsi Max in the cup holder. That's always a sign things are about to get nuts.

Barf! If that guy isn't on the Pepsi pay roll already, he should be. 

Ocean Marketing's Paul Christoforo: Douchebag of the year

Everyone's doing their year-in-review and the best & worst of 2011 reviews so this couldn't have come at a better time. We're not going to waste any time or energy trying to go back and analyze all the idiots over the past year, we don't even have to do that - because we have the perfect candidate by which all other douchebags pale in comparison. Meet Paul Christoforo, "President" of his soon-to-be-defunct marketing company Ocean Marketing.

Paul Christoforo, through Ocean Marketing, was working as an outsourced representative for N-Control's Avenger controller attachment when he received an e-mail from a customer wondering where his order was.


Read the exchange that started it all here.

Customer "Dave" had ordered the PS3 controller attachments on November 3rd and was initially told they would be arriving to him by early December. Well, December rolled by and after a couple of weeks passing with no order yet, Dave decided to contact customer service on Dec. 16 to see what was up. Dave was very polite and even wished Ocean Marketing happy holidays:

I ordered 2 of the upcoming PS3 controllers (invoice xxxxxxxxx—Nov 3, 2011). Any chance of getting an update of when these items will ship? I’m not really happy about being forced to pay upfront then have the advertised date of “Early December” be completely missed without any sort of update on availability. I really need one of them for a X-mas present as well. Anyways, looking forward to finally using one of these bad boys. Thanks and happy holidays.

-Dave

With such a nice initial communication, how could anything go wrong? This is the company's chance to go out of their way to show empathy for the customer and apologize for the delay, and do everything they can to make sure the product is sent out as soon as possible. What actually ended up happening though is a completely different story. Paul Christoforo turned the situation into one of the biggest customer service nightmares we've ever seen.

When asked about the estimated time of arrival for the attachments, he responded "Dec 17", the next day. A few days later he writes "They still haven’t shipped yet on the way here from china".

Well that sucks, but hey, that happens sometimes right? Product releases get delayed, and it's just the nature of buying things online. Well Christoforo was just getting started. Here are some of the more interesting responses from representative Paul Christoforo to customer Dave:

"im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else."

"Feel free to cancel we need the units were back ordered 11,000 units so your 2 will be gone fast. Maybe I’ll put them on eBay for 150.00 myself."

And then it gets much worse...

"Son Im 38 I wwebsite as on the internet when you were a sperm in your daddys balls and before it was the internet, thanks for the welcome to message wurd up."

"You just got told bitch … welcome to the real internet"

"We do value our customers but sometimes we get children like you we just have to put you in the corner with your im stupid hat on."

And if simply shitting all over a customer wasn't enough, Paul Christoforo then digs himself a bigger hole by pissing off industry insider Mike Krahulik of Penny Arcade and gaming convention Pax, after customer Dave forwarded the exchange to him and other gaming sites. The exchange then continues between Christoforo and Krahulik, the most amusing part of which is Christoforo's "Do you know who I am??" attitude when he's quite the nobody himself, especially in relation to Mike Krahulik.

"Were in 6 countries and you’re not going to take my money for a booth that’s a crock I can guarantee I’ll get a booth if I want one money buys a lot and connections go even further. He’s a native Bostonian from Little Italy . Who are you again"

"If you let some little kid influence you over a pre order then we don’t want to be a your show ,Ill be on the floor anyway so come find me , I’m born and raised in Boston I know the people who run the city inside and out watch the way you talk to people you never know who they know it’s a small industry and everyone knows everyone."

Paul Christoforo then seemed to have finally realized he fucked up big time, but it was much too late.

Mike I’m not trying to fight with you I’m really not , you should give me the benefit of the doubt before judging over one person’s bitching . Did I feed into his emails a little bit too much yeah ok . But it’s one person dude for real. No disrespect intended for you , My name is good in this industry and I know a lot of people. I’ll be at CES are you going ?

Awww poor guy, it was just a misunderstanding. Shame on us for siding with the dirty customer and not good guy Paul Christoforo. And plus, he knows a lot of people. ooooo we're impressed, and Mike Krahulik definitely was too. His response: "Please remove me from this mailing list". Ouch!

This all went down a few days ago, and ever since then we've been witnessing a public meltdown eerily similar to that of Charlie Sheen's, where Paul Christoforo has taken to his twitter account to defend himself but in doing so only reveals what a nutbar and douche nozzle he is. Oh and in case you were wondering, Christoforo and his Ocean Marketing group has been fired from the position of representing the Avenger controller product. N-Control has issued a statement:

"We apologize for our poor representation from Ocean Marketing," David Kotkin, the owner and inventor of Avenger Controller told Kotaku. "We wanted to give Paul a chance. He was rough around the edges, but he had drive and enthusiasm. However his behavior was unprovoked, unnecessary, and unforgivable. We are no longer represented by Ocean Marketing."

Let this be a lesson to companies out there: be very careful before you let some outsourced company (or in this case, probably just 1 guy) take control of the one thing that matters most to your company: the relationship with your customers. Really, you shouldn't be outsourcing that at all. You need people who actually work for the company, because there's a much higher chance they'll actually give a shit than just some fly by night Joe Schmoe like Christoforo, where the only thing he cares about is himself.


Update: A friend of People Liking People has sent us Paul Christoforo's contact information:

Paul Christoforo
Address: 295 Chestnut Ave, Apt 33 Carlsbad, CA 92008



Update 2: There is speculation that Christoforo is experiencing wild mood swings as a result of a steroid abuse problem. It's unconfirmed at this time but if you have any additional information please let us know.

Update 3: We have learned that the Twitter accounts initially thought to be Christoforo's are not his at all. His real Twitter account is @OceanDeepSea. The @oceanmarketting and @oceanstretagy accounts are fakes.

Florida middle school teacher arrested for throwing food at McDonalds employees

Meet Simone Paolercio. She's a 6th grade teacher at Lakeland Highlands Middle School in Lakeland, FL. She's also one of the most hideous looking human beings we've ever seen (we're using the word human quite broadly here). What the fuck happened to her face, is that what happens when you eat $20 worth of McDonalds every day? Jesus Christ lay off the tater tots woman.

Paolercio was arrested on Saturday after pelting McDonalds employees with food she had just ordered during a temper tantrum you'd expect more from a 3 year old.

Check out the video surveillance of the incident below:



From thesmokinggun.com:

Jessica Balderas, a McDonald’s worker, told cops that “there was a disagreement over two hashbrowns,” according to a Polk County Sheriff’s Office report. Paolercio reportedly became “irritated” and “wanted them to take the food back and refund her money.”

After a manager arrived to speak with Paolercio, the educator tossed some of the food items back through the drive-thru window when the man refused to provide a refund.

Imagine how bad/uneventful your life must be when an order of tater tots ruins your whole day.

If anyone has any additional information about this ugly beast of a woman, send us a message or leave a comment. Any former students?

Update: A friend of People Liking People has sent us Simone Paolercio's contact info:

Simone Paolercio
Phone: (863) 646-6197
E-mail: spaolercio@hotmail.com
Address: 5723 Scott Lake Rd. Lakeland FL 33813

School resource counselor who alerted kids about the "sexting epidemic" caught sexting 14 year old middle school student

Meet former Charlotte County Deputy Gordon Eldridge, who was a school resource counselor at L.A. Ainger Middle School in Rotonda West, Florida. As a school resource counselor, Gordon Eldridge was in charge of looking after the well being of the students. He had posted on his website tips for parents and students and also posted an alert to be aware of the growing epidemic of "sexting", where teens send sexually explicit text and pictures to each other.

Evidently Gordon Eldridge knew quite a lot about this practice of "sexting" himself, as he's now found himself in hot water over a text he sent to a 14 year old middle school student. The text he sent?

"Start stripping and dance on the tables . . . and send pics!"

Niiiice.

And apparently this isn't the first time his inappropriate behavior caught the attention of his superiors. Prior to the text being sent, the same 14 year old girl had reported to a different school resource counselor that Gordon Eldridge made her feel uncomfortable by putting his hand over her mouth. He was given a warning by his supervisor to avoid contact with the girl but it didn't end there. In the days following he picked her up for dinner and drove her to the high school football game. Allegedly there are even more inappropriate texts from Eldridge to the girl.

And if that weren't bad enough, and it is quite bad enough already, Eldridge took to the comments section in the local news article about this story to defend himself. In doing so, he not only practically admits to doing everything that's been alleged, but he tries to put all the blame on the 14 year old middle school student. Bad move.

Here's Gorden Eldridge's comment in its entirety:

Gordon Eldridge: "I have tried to post this several times.
but every time it would disappear.

Here are the FACTS of this case.
It is now public record and I can comment.

The girl is a PAL junior councellor so.
I have contact with her weekly. She told me.
that she wants to be in Law Enforcement and.
wants to join the explorers.

It is not unusual for SRO's to take PAL kids to.
various functions in our cruisers.

She texted me if I was working the football game.
... when I said yes. she asked if I could pick her.
up at PAL and give her a ride to the game.
I told her I would. I told her that the days I work.
details I go to eat. I asked her if she wanted.
to go eat or I could pick her up after I eat.
She later texted me asking if I could give her.
a ride home. I said that I would. She told me.
that her mom was aware of the rides and going.
to eat.
She said that she would go eat and brought her.
own money.
We went to the Country Hound Restaurant and.
sat in the middle of the restaurant. The
place was full. SHe commented on the fact that.
other students were working there and thought.
she could get a job there.
We ate and each paid for our own meals.
We then went to the game. She left with her friends.
while 3 other deputies and I worked the game.
After the game I gave her a ride home. I
have not have any one on one contact since then.

She texted me several times mostly about having.
a new boy friend.

I did sent ONE and only ONE inappropriate TEXT.
to the girl. It was in response to a text she.
sent me that she was bored. I sent a stupid.
quick response as a joke. It was in poor taste.
using adult humor and I immediately sent her an apology. She Accepted.

She later sent another text asking about another SRO.
because she missed speaking with her.

There was no apparent discomfort with texting me.

Four days later she went to the SRO at the high school.
stating she was uncomfortable with the text she had.
received from me. She tried to recant after she learned.
that the SRO supervisor was going to be contacted. She
did not want to get anyone in trouble.

I also learned that she loves to be the center of attention.
this was another attempt to be the center of attention.

She was interviewed by Major Crimes Detectives They found.
NO CRIME was committed. This was verified by the State.
Attorney and the family was notified over the Thanksgiving.
break. The Family was not willing to accept this...

On Monday 11/28 I went to a scheduled interview with the.
CCSO investigator with my FOP Union Rep. During the meeting.

We learned that SNN had been contacted by the girls family.
asking to verify that a deputy was under investigation for.
SEXTING middle school and high school students.

At this point I was damaged beyond repair regardless of.
the truth.

I offered my resignation due to the perception of what.
people would think, regardless of the whole truth due.
to the media.

This is all public record at CCSO."

Does this guy really think anyone's going to read all that and end up agreeing that he did nothing wrong? You're a school resource counselor at a middle school for chrissakes. Maybe we could understand if you were at a high school and there's a couple hot seniors or something, even then of course that's still wrong, but middle school? Come on dude, you can't explain your way out of this one.

College football cornerback forgets to kneel after catching ball in the endzone

During the college football game between the Wofford Terriers and the Northern Iowa Panthers last Saturday, Wofford kick returner Stephon Shelton made a mistake that cost him the game.



After catching the ball during a kickoff return in the endzone, cornerback Shelton forgot to kneel down to end the play. It seemed to take a second for the Panthers to realized what happened but after the ball was bumped loose from Shelton's grasp it was fallen on and recovered by Northern Iowa's Phil Wright, #31. Instant touchdown for the Panthers.

One point of note in this play is right after Northern Iowa's Zach Cutkomp knocked the ball out of Shelton's hands. Shelton appears to act like Northern Iowa had just committed a foul, he throws his hands up in front of the ref as if to say "did you see that man?" At that moment Shelton hadn't realized the mistake he made and that there was a live ball on the ground behind him.

That's gotta be tough to make such a stupid mistake and cost your teammates the whole game. It happens to all of us though at various points in our lives. You can bet he won't be making that mistake anymore.

Kid attempts to leap onto post and fails...but he doesn't hit his balls

He's so proud of himself!

Is this what the Occupy Wall Street folks do when they're not out protesting? But seriously, that was quite an impressive jump even though he didn't quite make it. Maybe he should wear a cup next time just in case.

Toughest job in America right now: being a police officer on the front lines of the Occupy protests

We've been trying to stay up to date on the latest happenings with the Occupy movement and follow their progress (or downfall, whichever it ends up being). We've been going through a lot of their footage lately and we've come to a conclusion: the toughest job in America right now is being a cop on the front lines of the Occupy movement. Holly shit these occupy people are fucking annoying, see the video below:



I'm not sure we'd be able to make it 1 hour dealing with these clowns, let alone one full 8 hour shift. The constant screaming, crying, fits of outrage, and shit-talking, all the while as an officer you'd have to keep your composure and act like a professional public servant. Fuck that. Unless the police chief is giving out handfuls of Xanax before each shift, I'll pass.

Occupy people: you guys have a decent message. Stop going full retard, turn it down a few notches. The police officers are just doing their job. Every protest must follow some rules to keep the peace, and the officers have gone out of their way to make these ground rules clear so things remain peaceful. But unfortunately you have a bunch of clowns who pretend not to know the rules and then act surprised when they get arrested. The cops could care less about "protecting the man" or "working for the bankers". They're there to keep the peace and make sure simple rules are followed. If you work with the police, the police will work with you. if you go full retard, well...the results are shown in the video. Stop embarrassing yourselves and get your shit together. To compare this to the protests in the 60s is a huge insult to the Vietnam war protesters. You guys aren't even close.

FBI leaks documents, pictures, and videos of Russian spies

Well this is kinda cool. The FBI has just released documents, photos, and video footage of the failed Russian spies that were in the U.S. for years trying to blend in and rub shoulders with influential/powerful people. These people led fairly normal lives while they were here - they raised families, worked 9-5 jobs and tended to their gardens. You know, I wonder if some of them went into the gig with the mission of spying, but once they got here and away from Russia they said fuck it let's make a life for ourselves here and we'll pretend to spy every once in a while so our handlers back home think we're actually doing something spy-like. I mean let's face it, living in Russia probably sucks donkey balls. You can't help but wonder if the spies might have wished they were the real life citizens they were pretending to portray.

Click here to go to the FBI's Vault portal, you can find the documents here, pictures here, and videos here. Today I learned that the FBI actually has their own Youtube channel, how fucking cool is that?




A dead drop or dead letter box is a method of espionage tradecraft used to pass items between two individuals by using a secret location and thus does not require them to meet directly. Using a dead drop permits a Case Officer and his Agent to exchange objects and information while maintaining operational security.

This has gotta be pretty embarrassing for the Russians. They thought they were being so sneaky and we were on to them the whole time, quietly monitoring and filming their every move. We should have fed them some ridiculous misinformation to troll the hell out of them.

You have to wonder why the FBI is releasing these pictures and videos now. I'm glad they are, but is this some kind of subtle power move in the game of chess with Russia? To rub it in a little how badly they fucked up?

Anyways...Russia needs to know their role. They seem to think they're like another United States in the world, the second super power. Reality check: you guys are just another third world country and are not relevant at all. Try focusing on building greatness within instead of sending out spies to see what everyone else is doing and you might actually get somewhere.

How Russia sees themselves:



The Reality:

Showoff Bicyclist Gets Owned

Douchebag tries to show off but wasn't quite as skilled as he thought he was. You know, bikes have 2 wheels for a reason...