Ocean Marketing's Paul Christoforo: Douchebag of the year

Everyone's doing their year-in-review and the best & worst of 2011 reviews so this couldn't have come at a better time. We're not going to waste any time or energy trying to go back and analyze all the idiots over the past year, we don't even have to do that - because we have the perfect candidate by which all other douchebags pale in comparison. Meet Paul Christoforo, "President" of his soon-to-be-defunct marketing company Ocean Marketing.

Paul Christoforo, through Ocean Marketing, was working as an outsourced representative for N-Control's Avenger controller attachment when he received an e-mail from a customer wondering where his order was.


Read the exchange that started it all here.

Customer "Dave" had ordered the PS3 controller attachments on November 3rd and was initially told they would be arriving to him by early December. Well, December rolled by and after a couple of weeks passing with no order yet, Dave decided to contact customer service on Dec. 16 to see what was up. Dave was very polite and even wished Ocean Marketing happy holidays:

I ordered 2 of the upcoming PS3 controllers (invoice xxxxxxxxx—Nov 3, 2011). Any chance of getting an update of when these items will ship? I’m not really happy about being forced to pay upfront then have the advertised date of “Early December” be completely missed without any sort of update on availability. I really need one of them for a X-mas present as well. Anyways, looking forward to finally using one of these bad boys. Thanks and happy holidays.

-Dave

With such a nice initial communication, how could anything go wrong? This is the company's chance to go out of their way to show empathy for the customer and apologize for the delay, and do everything they can to make sure the product is sent out as soon as possible. What actually ended up happening though is a completely different story. Paul Christoforo turned the situation into one of the biggest customer service nightmares we've ever seen.

When asked about the estimated time of arrival for the attachments, he responded "Dec 17", the next day. A few days later he writes "They still haven’t shipped yet on the way here from china".

Well that sucks, but hey, that happens sometimes right? Product releases get delayed, and it's just the nature of buying things online. Well Christoforo was just getting started. Here are some of the more interesting responses from representative Paul Christoforo to customer Dave:

"im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else."

"Feel free to cancel we need the units were back ordered 11,000 units so your 2 will be gone fast. Maybe I’ll put them on eBay for 150.00 myself."

And then it gets much worse...

"Son Im 38 I wwebsite as on the internet when you were a sperm in your daddys balls and before it was the internet, thanks for the welcome to message wurd up."

"You just got told bitch … welcome to the real internet"

"We do value our customers but sometimes we get children like you we just have to put you in the corner with your im stupid hat on."

And if simply shitting all over a customer wasn't enough, Paul Christoforo then digs himself a bigger hole by pissing off industry insider Mike Krahulik of Penny Arcade and gaming convention Pax, after customer Dave forwarded the exchange to him and other gaming sites. The exchange then continues between Christoforo and Krahulik, the most amusing part of which is Christoforo's "Do you know who I am??" attitude when he's quite the nobody himself, especially in relation to Mike Krahulik.

"Were in 6 countries and you’re not going to take my money for a booth that’s a crock I can guarantee I’ll get a booth if I want one money buys a lot and connections go even further. He’s a native Bostonian from Little Italy . Who are you again"

"If you let some little kid influence you over a pre order then we don’t want to be a your show ,Ill be on the floor anyway so come find me , I’m born and raised in Boston I know the people who run the city inside and out watch the way you talk to people you never know who they know it’s a small industry and everyone knows everyone."

Paul Christoforo then seemed to have finally realized he fucked up big time, but it was much too late.

Mike I’m not trying to fight with you I’m really not , you should give me the benefit of the doubt before judging over one person’s bitching . Did I feed into his emails a little bit too much yeah ok . But it’s one person dude for real. No disrespect intended for you , My name is good in this industry and I know a lot of people. I’ll be at CES are you going ?

Awww poor guy, it was just a misunderstanding. Shame on us for siding with the dirty customer and not good guy Paul Christoforo. And plus, he knows a lot of people. ooooo we're impressed, and Mike Krahulik definitely was too. His response: "Please remove me from this mailing list". Ouch!

This all went down a few days ago, and ever since then we've been witnessing a public meltdown eerily similar to that of Charlie Sheen's, where Paul Christoforo has taken to his twitter account to defend himself but in doing so only reveals what a nutbar and douche nozzle he is. Oh and in case you were wondering, Christoforo and his Ocean Marketing group has been fired from the position of representing the Avenger controller product. N-Control has issued a statement:

"We apologize for our poor representation from Ocean Marketing," David Kotkin, the owner and inventor of Avenger Controller told Kotaku. "We wanted to give Paul a chance. He was rough around the edges, but he had drive and enthusiasm. However his behavior was unprovoked, unnecessary, and unforgivable. We are no longer represented by Ocean Marketing."

Let this be a lesson to companies out there: be very careful before you let some outsourced company (or in this case, probably just 1 guy) take control of the one thing that matters most to your company: the relationship with your customers. Really, you shouldn't be outsourcing that at all. You need people who actually work for the company, because there's a much higher chance they'll actually give a shit than just some fly by night Joe Schmoe like Christoforo, where the only thing he cares about is himself.


Update: A friend of People Liking People has sent us Paul Christoforo's contact information:

Paul Christoforo
Address: 295 Chestnut Ave, Apt 33 Carlsbad, CA 92008



Update 2: There is speculation that Christoforo is experiencing wild mood swings as a result of a steroid abuse problem. It's unconfirmed at this time but if you have any additional information please let us know.

Update 3: We have learned that the Twitter accounts initially thought to be Christoforo's are not his at all. His real Twitter account is @OceanDeepSea. The @oceanmarketting and @oceanstretagy accounts are fakes.

Dirty ass hoe punches 70 year old Walmart greeter

The holidays really bring the best out of people don't they?

Meet Jacquetta Simmons, a 26 year old dirty skank from Batavia, NY.



Jacquetta Simmons was on her way out the door after shopping at Walmart on Christmas Eve when 70 year old Walmart greeter Grace Suozzi asked to check her receipt, which is commonly done to ensure accuracy at the register and cut down on shoplifting. Instead of simply showing the greeter the receipt like any normal person would do, skank hoe Jacquetta Simmons proceeded to assault the elderly woman and knock her on the ground.

From wtsp.com:

Patterson said Simmons is accused of punching and knocking down Suozzi at 11:23 a.m. after the employee asked Simmons to see receipts for items the customer was carrying in store bags. After hitting Suozzi, Simmons ran out of the store, but employees and customers quickly surrounded her until police arrived.

What could have been quickly over and done with has now turned into a mess for Ms. Simmons, who now faces 2 second-degree assault charges and is being held on a $20,000 bond.

Where does trash like this keep coming from? Is it really that hard for some people to think their actions through and know the consequences that are obvious to the rest of us? What a dumbass.

Update: a friend of People Liking People has sent us her contact info:

Jacquetta Simmons
E-mail: quettquett1985@yahoo.com
Phone: (585) 285-3224
Address: 104 Ellsworth Ave. Batavia, NY 14020

Merry Christmas to all

Merry Christmas to all from People Liking People!

We were hoping for a white Christmas but it has sure been a strange winter so far, it's in the mid 40s today for most of the midwest, while it actually snowed in some places in Texas today.

Speaking of the weather, you've got to check out these Weathergirls, we just can't get enough of them! Here's today's weather report:

Wife of powerlifting champion Rickey Dale Crain arrested and facing child pornography charges

This is a very strange story. 48 year old Kimberly Crain, wife of powerlifting champion Rickey Dale Crain (currently the owner of Crain's Muscle World) and third grade teacher at McLoud Elementary in McLoud Oklahoma has been arrested and is facing possible child pornography charges. The investigation began when one of her third grade students reported that the teacher had her and 5 other female students dress in Christmas-themed lingerie during what was supposedly a Christmas tree decorating party at Crain's home. Pictures and video were taken of the girls in their underwear while they performed a "cheer dance" at Crain's request. Police have seized the images and say they are "sexual in nature".

If that isn't weird enough, authorities say while in the classroom the teacher would often have the kids speak to a man on Skype who was referred to as "Uncle G". She was also known to take pictures of the kids from time to time posing on their desks. Police are trying to find out who this "Uncle G" character is and if he was the recipient of any pictures or videos.

From krmg.com:

Shawnee police arrested Kimberly Crain yesterday after photos were retrieved from her cell phone.

"The things that these children were made to do can be explained in no other way than it was a sexual interest by Miss Crain."

Pottawatomie County District Attorney Richard Smothermon also told the News On 6 that she is behind bars because investigators consider her to be a major flight risk.

It has also been reported that a $1 million bond was set for Mrs. Crain.

Is Kimberly Crain a lone pedophile? Or was there someone else, "Uncle G" perhaps, guiding her actions.

Update: A civil suit has been filed in Pottawatomie County, OK naming both both Kimberly and Rickey Dale Crain. It's unclear what the details of that complaint are at this time as the suit has been sealed by a judge. Are Rickey Dale Crain and Uncle G one in the same?

Bonus: We found an article written by Rickey Dale Crain back in August entitled "America is a leaderless nation":

"We have a leaderless nation. President Obama, worse than Jimmy Carter, is now on par with perhaps our worst president, James Buchannan, a Democrat coincidentally, whose niece actually ran the country. The disastrous and nationally humiliating downgrade of our country’s credit rating, first in USA history, was not an inevitable consequence of uncontrollable misfortune."

Update 2: We now know who "Uncle G" is, and Kimberly Crain now faces 23 felony counts.

Black Friday shoppers go crazy over $2 waffle maker

Who knew waffle makers were in such high demand? I suppose at $2 even to someone that hates waffles that's a good deal - they could always resell it on Craigslist. Check out the footage below - shoppers act like animals trying to get dibs on their waffle maker in a Walmart in Little Rock, Arkansas.



The woman in blue in the middle there appears to be utilizing the smelly butt crack tactic, always the showstopper.

Vodka maker pulls billboard ad after crybabies complain

Can't anyone take a joke anymore?

We've been following this "story" for the past couple days, it initially showed up on Gawker when a "concerned" reader contacted the site to inform them of the billboard shown below:



The "tipster" alerted Gawker of this billboard for Wodka Vodka located on Riverside Drive in Manhattan, which pokes fun at stereotypes using a Santa dog and a "Jewish" dog with the tag line "Christmas Quality, Hanukkah Pricing". The complainer also mentioned that she would be contacting various media outlets as well:

"Perhaps you are also aware of the anti-Semitic stereotype that Jewish people control the media. Following the lead of your billboard, I have put stock in this stereotype and have taken the liberty of cc'ing several media outlets and news writers on this email."

Well isn't that just special, you go girl.

We figured that would be the end of it, seeing as there's much more important things to be outraged about than a silly billboard ad. But this persistent crybaby's efforts have paid off, as the company today caved to pressure and has taken the billboard down. From Yahoo news:

A billboard for Wodka vodka in NYC has been taken down and destroyed after complaints that the advertisement's message is anti-Semitic.
-
Ron Meier, regional director of the Anti-Defamation League, called it "crude and offensive. To use the Jewish holiday in dealing with issues of money is clearly insensitive and inappropriate."

Well that's a shame. You can't make a joke these days without everyone getting their panties in a bunch. And what was the point of contacting the media about this billboard anyway, it's not like it was some big secret the folks at Wodka were trying to hide, they put it on a giant billboard facing a major street for chrissakes. And one of the most ironic things about the whole thing is that Brian Gordon, head of the marketing firm (MMG) behind the billboard, is himself Jewish.

Score one for the whiny crybaby douchebags. If there's any silver lining to this story it's that it did give Wodka a ton of publicity, and we're guessing that the people who thought the ad was no big deal far outweigh the folks who need to untwist their panties. We're not big drinkers here at People Liking People, but if we ever do need to pickup some Vodka we'll be sure to try out Wodka's selection.

One thing did slightly bother us about this ad though, I believe they have used the stereotype the wrong way. When it says Hanukkah pricing to mean "Jew pricing", if we are to follow the stereotype that would mean that the prices would be high, a ripoff - not low, like they probably meant to illustrate. But I suppose that's a minor point and it's just a joke not meant to be dissected. Either way, the billboard ad is now down and the crybaby brigade can now focus their efforts on the next big atrocity.

Update: We've found a complimentary writeup in Forbes magazine from June 2011 about Wodka's quirky marketing & the success they've seen from it. You thought the Christmas billboard ad was in bad taste? Check out this one:


Escort Quality: Hooker Pricing.

Obviously the company isn't afraid to take chances and be a little bit controversial, it's a shame they caved in to pressure so quickly. If you're going to be bold, you gotta stick to your guns and say fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.