Wednesday, February 25, 2009

People of the Day: Scientologists

We're introducing a new feature here at People Liking People: People of the Day. Each day, we will showcase a type of person and talk about what makes them so likable. We feel this is a good chance for everyone to learn the importance of respecting one another, as there's something positive about each and every one of us.

Our People of the day for Feb. 25 2009 are Scientologists. Scientologists are often misunderstood, and often times the only thing someone knows about them is that they believe we came from aliens. Well there's a lot more to it than that. Scientologists work, eat, pay their bills, go out and have fun like the rest of us. The difference is that they also spend a lot of their time auditing and giving their money to Scientology.

I want to start by saying that some of my best friends are Scientologists, and they are some of the nicest people I know. Unfortunately many people see their ignorance as stupidity, and want to attack them for believing that a cult is the answer to their problems. At the end of the day though, you have to realize that everyone has something that's a little silly they believe in. Sure, most of us don't pay thousands of dollars as a result of it, but that just shows how committed Scientologists are to something they were lured into truly believing.

It's a common myth that Scientologists are these crazy psychotic people who really need psychiatric help, but have somehow got themselves caught up in Scientology. It's true that a lot of them are unstable people, but often times I've found they really just need a friend. One thing that many people probably don't know is that Scientologists are very good at cooking. My Aunt Susan is a Scientologist, and while we run and hide when she comes over, we all enjoy her brownies after she leaves. Oh, and we don't run and hide because she's a Scientologist. She has irritable bowel syndrome and anal leakage. We have to put sheets down on the couch before she comes down, but she does have a very good personality. One time she saved someone's life because she drove past their house and saw smoke coming out of the building. She immediately dialed 911 and the fire was able to be put out before anyone was hurt.

Scientologists really are great people, but one thing you should never bring up with them is politics. If you know not to go there, you can very easily make friends with a Scientologist.

Scientologists have this program where they send people out to problem areas where people are starving, or where a disaster has just struck. They comfort those people in a time of need. They use a technique called touch assist created by L. Ron Hubbard. I tend to think when he created it he was just looking for an excuse to touch all over the young boys and girls in the Church, but today it has many legitimate uses and has helped people all over the world.

We hope you have learned some things today; next time you see a Scientologist don't be afraid. Just be friendly and talk to him as if he were just a regular human.


  1. Nice parody of a sincere writer. You caught one of the most common lies about Scientology right in there: Scientologists do not believe that "we came from aliens". Scientologists believe that every individual is a spiritual being who - after the body dies - lives on in another body. Scientologist do also believe that every spiritual being (that's you, me, everybody) has lived before. That might be alien to you but is not an alien thing... Maybe you look for a Scientologist friend and ask him/her to borrow you a Scientology book so you can look up what Scientologists really believe. Or you go to a library and get one.

  2. Obviously you haven't gotten to the OT III documents yet Louanne. There's nothing wrong with believing in Xenu or that we came from aliens. That's the point of my post, we need to have respect in other people's beliefs, no matter how insane they may appear on the surface. I appreciate your comment.