Album Review: Grin by Coroner 1993 (4/5)

Coroner's Grin, released in 1993 is a very interesting metal album. It's definitely not one that you can pop in for the first time and immediately fall in love with it. At least that wasn't the case with me. Now, you will be able to tell instantly that there is a lot going on and it could be something very special, but it isn't readily apparent just what that is or if it's really worth giving it many more listens to find out.

As I was trying to get into this album, I noticed a couple things: it seems to have all the right elements - the riffs are good, drumming is just fine, the songs seem well put together and the guitar solos are very well crafted and technical. But for some reason I felt tired while listening to this album. I'd be pepped up and ready to go in the beginning but after a few songs I'd feel lethargic and ready to take a nap. Was it just me? Or is this album really a doozer?

After many listens I can say that this is one of those albums that has to grow on you. You have to give it time to set in to get it and enjoy it. But at the same time I do think there are a couple flaws, a few areas that if they would have done better would have taken it it from a 4/5 album to a 5/5 album. One of the main things that hurts this album in my opinion is the production. Now I'm not a producer and it's hard to say exactly what went wrong, but simply put the album sounds boring. It's lifeless. The bass isn't as high in the mix as they should be, and it seems like they were going for a more refined and clean sound - which took away some of the energy it might otherwise have had. It's too quiet - the instruments aren't caked into each other sonically enough - you can see right through them. Also, the snare drum is too loud compared to everything else and the high-hat is too quiet and closed in places where it should be more open and rocking it to give the song more "energy". As I listen to this album I can't help but be reminded of the production sound of White Zombie's La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1. If Grin would have had that type of sound the songs would really have come to life a lot more.

Another thing that makes this album a little tiring is the generally slower tempo for the genre. Every song seems to be dragging just a tad bit. There is also a somewhat "jammy" feel to the album - 1 riff might last a couple minutes, and most of the songs are over 6 minutes. One very high point are the guitar solos by Tommy Vetterli. He does a great job of bringing some emotion into the riffs (which unfortunately sound otherwise somewhat lifeless due to production) and at times his playing reminds us of Joe Satriani.

I'm not going to say that this is a must-have metal album but if you want to expand your horizons just a tad bit and try something new, definitely check out Coroner's Grin.

Dr. Bronner's Magic Peppermint Soap

We've just finished watching the documentary "Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox" streaming on Netflix. Ok we lied, we made it about halfway through. But that says more about our attention span than it does the movie, which was actually pretty interesting. Now we've seen this stuff in pharmacy chains like Walgreens and CVS before but never thought much of it and have yet to try it. But it turns out there's people who absolutely swear by this stuff - you'd think it was some sort of magic potion.

Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap was the creation of Emanuel Bronner, an immigrant from Germany whose parents were both killed in the Holocaust. He was reported to be somewhat insane and was even institutionalized at one point in the 1940s. He started making the soap in the first half of the 20th century which includes religious and philosophical writings on the outside label, something he referred to as the ABC's of morals and "All-One-God-Faith". We heard so much about how great this soap was in the film that we decided to see if we could find any reviews of the stuff online to find out if it was really that good. We turned to Youtube and it ended up being a great resource.

First up is blueottlisa, she has very good things to say about the peppermint soap but starts off asking why nobody warned her about the tingling. Hmmm so this soap causes a tingling sensation? We want to try it even more now! She continues to say that after washing her face with it she decided to use it in the shower: "if I thought the tingling on my eyes was bad...this thing tingles ALL. OVER. YOUR. BODY." She goes on to compare it to a boyfriend of hers who used to eat a lot of pepper and then go down on her. Ouch! Be careful ladies!

Next up we have 1SEXYTINA1, with a video entitled "PEPPERMINT SOAP... *** FOR WOMEN ONLY***"



ooooo we're on the edge of our seat already. I feel like a kid again watching a rated R movie late at night after everyone's gone to bed. It really had us wondering though, does this peppermint soap cause people to have orgasms or something? Is that the secret nobody's telling us? Are people getting off on this shit? Unfortunately it's the exact opposite, it'll make your junk feel like someone just poured hydrochloric acid up your urethra. 1SEXYTINA1 offers some great advice and her delivery is great, but the main takeaway here is this: Do not use much of this soap at a time at all. One tiny drop should last you a week, and you'll want to dilute it in water. If you try using this stuff like it's any other soap you might as well set your naughty bits on fire.

Lastly we have genipha4life who offers what she calls "a commercial for my favorite product in the whole wide world".




- Good reading material on the bottle
- You can wash many things with Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap: your hair, brush your teeth with it, your bathroom and your clothes
- Can use it to relax, by putting it on a warm towel to be placed on your forehead

Alright alright, we're convinced. First thing tomorrow we're going to go out and get us a bottle of this peppermint soap. I'll probably pass on the brushing your teeth part of it though, yuck.

Album Review: Alanis by Alanis Morissette 1991

Alanis Morissette...bad ass rocker grunge chick with a chip on her shoulder right? Well things weren't always that way, she actually started out as a Paula Abdul wanna-be Britney Spears type pop singer. Fortunately for her, back then her music and image was mostly contained in Canada. When she made the transition to rocker and entered the US/World market, people took her new image and style at face value, not knowing what a poser she really was. Not that we're knocking her style change, but it's fun to get a glimpse of the before and after in the midst of someone trying to find an identity that works.

This is Alanis's debut. You can tell by her voice it's still her but it's almost 180 degrees from what she eventually settled on.

Track Listing:

1. "Feel Your Love"
2. "Too Hot"
3. "Plastic"
4. "Walk Away"
5. "On My Own"
6. "Superman"
7. "Jealous"
8. "Human Touch"
9. "Oh Yeah!"
10. "Party Boy"

Most of the tracks sound like knockoffs of other songs that were hits just a couple years earlier. Probably the best song on the album is "Too Hot" and if you listen carefully you'll notice that most of the drum sounds and the guitar samples are the same ones used in Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" which came out 3 years earlier in 1988.

As a pop album of the early 90s we give it 3/5 stars. It's pretty much what you would expect from the genre. Nothing too amazing here. It's almost like whoever produced the music is using hand-me-down samples and keyboards that the major pop artists like Paula Abdul and Madonna were using a few years earlier. Who knows, maybe they sold the songs or sounds to them - which probably goes on a lot more than people realize. What makes it a really fun listen though is just knowing it's Alanis Morissette.




Wow, who knew Alanis had such a nice thick body back in the day?

One fun fact not related to this album, you know that hit rock song "You Oughta Know" from her Jagged Little Pill album (1995), the one where she's all going on about this asshole dickhead guy who left this big mess in her life?



Turns out she wrote it about her relationship with actor/comedian Dave Coulier, the guy who played Joey Gladstone on Full House. I don't know about you but knowing that takes the coolness factor of that song down a couple notches. When I used to hear that song I'd think she must have been with this big badass drunk all the time greaser wife beater type that fucked up the whole family and everyone's life and now she's mad as hell as isn't going to take it anymore. To find out it was that fucking dork Uncle Joey from Full House? Kind of takes the whole bite away from the song.